


In The Name Of Love

by Empress_of_Trash



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Angst, Asexual Character, Babies, Bad Parenting, Bisexuality, Dad Izaya, Discussion of Abortion, F/F, Family Fluff, He will get there he has to go through some shit first, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, Izaya's A+ Parenting, Kid Fic, Lesbian Character, Leukemia, Listen okay this is really freaking weird, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, OC Ships It, One Night Stands, Parenthood, Past Child Abuse, Pregnancy, Slow Burn, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 18:09:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11742399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Empress_of_Trash/pseuds/Empress_of_Trash
Summary: Izaya's one-night stands were never going to be normal. Returning months later pregnant would have been banal, except of course for the threats against herself and the baby, the female lover, the startling relationship with Shizuo, and the fact she is apparently dying.The fact she also seems to think he and Shizu-chan make a cute couple doesn't even bear mentioning.





	In The Name Of Love

**Author's Note:**

> Alright first off I realize I have done a terrible sin. A nay unforgiveable one.
> 
> I have created an OC and made her an important character. Even worse she has intereacted with half of the OTP.
> 
> In my defense this was not written sober. although I am posting it sober so I'm not sure how much of an excuse it is anymore...
> 
> Listen ya'll I feel strangely attached to this and Shinju and her wife are my babies, I have different incarnations of them in other stories. My friend cried when she read this. And fear not, the OFC's are not going to be the main focus. Izaya and Shizuo, those lovable dorks will. 
> 
> This is a weird one. Like at first it was just the idea that no one Izaya would sleep with could be normal, but then it became a baby fic and now it has added layers of supernatural and Japanese folklore coming into play. 
> 
> Shit got weird. But considering all my stories are a little "odd" I think it could be forgivable.
> 
> I'm not adding this one to the update schedule until one of ther others are finished and maybe not even then. It's a bit sporadic. The other stories will proceed as planned and on time. So please, benefit of the doubt? And be gentle.

Shinju was an idiot. Her parents told her it with a painful scorn when she’d been growin up. Her sister told her it pale and quivering when she’d ran to Tokyo. Her roommate told her it through breathless laughter when she’d admitted her desire to become a hostess. Her co-worker told her it with disbelief when she told her not to wait up as Shinju left with her last lay. Hell, she’d been hearing she was an idiot her entire life in a hundred different ways from a hundred different people.

 

Sitting in a small toilet of the hospital it beared repeating.

 

“You’re a fucking idiot Shinju,” she said to her reflection and gave a helpless laugh. Her hand settled on her stomach, considering wondering. “A true natural born moron.”

* * *

Two months ago, Shinju had been hired as a group by some foreigner attempting to make connections in Shinjuku. At this point she had enough regulars to turn down the truly repellent when she wanted to, but then the man had said he was meeting an Information Broker and it was always entertaining to watch those new to Shinjuku get eaten by their resident monster. So, Shinju had given her _noh_ smile and painted on her costume. When she was finished Karin had given her a judgemental look, which she ignored.

 

They both knew what, or more exactly _who_ had been the real reason that Shinju had said yes.

* * *

When Shinju had arrived at Tokyo, wide-eyed and fresh from the country she had been determined to take in as much as possible. Being a teenager she’d naturally fallen in with some others her age. She could still remember the nerves bubbling in her stomach as she’d first talked to “city kids”. With the bleached hair, tan skin, and flashing smiles they’d seemed so magnificent in her ignorant eyes. It had only been one of the girls at the center who had pointed them out.

 

Shinju could picture her perfectly, due to the fact she had been the first time Shinju had seen a _ganguro_ fashion in person. Her hair had been in a large silver grey ponytail creating a halo of light around her deeply tanned face. Her eyes had been a pretty grey-blue making them stand out with a single star sticker at the corner of their perfectly lined almond shape. She had given Shinju one disdainful look over before granting her an imperious nod making her necklaces gangle. Shinju had never seen someone so confident or bright, or utterly dismissive of her mother’s repeated lectures on “traditional beauty”. The girl, named Hikari appropriately enough, had made Shinju’s breathe stutter and a blush appear on her face.

 

She and the others had been like stepping into another world far from the _ryokan_ and the countryside.

 

After being allowed to stay with them a few hours the group had moved away into downtown Ikebukuro and Shinju had been torn between being thrilled and nauseous. They had been debating where to grab food when a large crashing had sent Shinju skittering behind the closest girl on instinct. Following the noise with her eyes she’d been surprised to find a panting blond boy her age after a smiling boy the same age. Both had been wearing the same school uniforms as the group she had fallen in with and the two of them couldn’t be more different.

 

Shinju had watched breathlessly as the blond boy had picked up a _vending machine_ and _thrown_ it at the still laughing dark haired boy. Who had _danced away_ like having vending machines launched at you was an _everyday occurrence_. Shinju could feel herself trembling as the battle continued down the road in chaos as residence dived into shops for safety or ignored it with equal nonchalance.

 

This was it. She felt something in her blooming, hungry at the sight. It was impossible. Out of the ordinary. A dream of something out of reach like the stories she’d grown up with.

 

It was exactly what she’d been searching for.

 

Not greatness or uniqueness in herself, but the ability to watch it and get close to it. If she could just see it. Just get a little closer. If she could just touch them-

 

“What are you doing stupid?” A sharp voice cut through her fascination as a sharp nailed hand wrapped itself around her wrist.

 

Shinju had blinked coming out of her daze to find Hikari looking at her with a harsh expression. She looked back only to find her heart sink as the two boys disappeared out of sight. Everything in her ached to go after them, to get a closer look at such amazing people. She looked back to Hikari ready to ask about them only for the girl to snap her fingers in Shinju’s face.

 

“First rule of Ikebukuro,” the girl said voice sounding crisp and oddly respectable. “Do not approach that freak Heiwajima and leave Orihara alone.”

 

“Who?” Shinju asked head still ringing.

 

“Heiwajima, the blond. He’s a freak, probs an escaped experiment. Orihara is the little guy. He’s hot, but crazy. Gotta be crazy to piss off Heiwajima like he does. I went through middle school with the blond. He. Is. Not. Normal.”

 

The advice was spoken with an odd determination for such a seemingly disdainful girl. Shinju though felt like singing and it took all she had in her not to grab Hikari’s face and kiss her. _Orihara. Heiwajima. Orihara. Heiwajima_. The names sang through her mind and her blood as her fascination bloomed quietly. It was the best gift Hikari could have given her. The names of her new obsessions. Her idols.

 

It would not fade in the weeks to follow and only grow as the years passed. Each passing encounter, each distant observation still made her blood sing like the first time with unrepentant awe. Shinju would never regret coming to Tokyo if she could keep observing such amazing sights. The only thing that did change was her tempering her desire to touch and interact. It was better for her to admire her idols from affair. Interfering with their lives would just be rude. Shinju was a better fan than that. She would support them quietly from the shadows.

 

Another change, of course, came from more experience in Ikebukuro as she added more names to her list of fascinations. The Black Rider. The Color Gangs. The Awakusu-kai. All fascinated and thrilled her in equal measure, but the Fortissimo and the Information Broker would always be first in her heart.

* * *

When Karin saw her getting ready and accepting the offer, she had known instantly what had happened. Her long term roommate and closest friend was very familiar with Shinju’s fascination with two of the most dangerous men around. Karin had given her patented judgemental look from over the glasses that had slipped down her face. Shinju had laughed at the look and slipped into the woman’s lap in retaliation, stealing her textbook and kissing her soundly until the expression softened.

 

“Don’t die.” Karin had finally gasped into her mouth as she prepared to slip out the door, adjusting her dress and making her her hair was back into place.

 

“Of course not,” Shinju said practically purring as she slipped back into her role. “If I get the chance--”

 

“I’m fucking him.” The two woman sang out at the same time.

 

Shinju beamed and Karin rolled her eyes.

 

“He’s on the list.” Karin said dismissively and ushered her out the door and into her impatient co-workers hands.

 

It was an old joke. From when Karin had initially assumed Shinju’s fascination stemmed from something as fleeting as sexual attraction. By now it had become a long standing parting anytime Shinju got the chance to observe either Orihara and Heiwajima. Shinju had been rather giddy as she left. It had been a long time since her last look. Not since Orihara had moved permanently to Shinjuku and had gotten Heiwajima arrested as a parting gift. She certainly hadn’t expected to fulfill the promise.

 

But when her idol had approached her after a truly entertaining night of watching him clearly bored as he twisted the foreigner around his fingers she wasn’t about to say no. He’d seemed mostly amused by her enthusiasm and the concealed horror of her co-workers. The sex itself had been nice enough and she’d slipped out pleased and unexpectant later that night.

 

Even Karin’s utter disgust at how thrilled she was to have gotten to talk to Orihara and see a glimpse into one of his home’s was not enough to stifle her fascination. Orihara himself had proved to be as fascinating and utterly tolerable as long observation had guessed. It was thrilling.

* * *

What wasn’t thrilling was what happened next.

 

“Leukaemia,” Karin said voice steady, but hand wrapping so tightly around Shinju’s hand it was painful. Shinju gripped back as hard as she could when the world was going so sideways. There was a slight trembling at the tail end that told her just how not calm Karin was.

 

The doctor nodded, eyes serious and sympathetic, as he sat before respectfully ignoring how close the women had curled around each other.

 

“Yes, it’s acute.” he said and then continued in the voice of one who was long trained in telling bad news. “That means it’s very aggressive and is growing at a fast rate.There are many treatment options to consider.”

 

Soon Karin and the doctor were talking carefully about the “options”. The words slipped in and out of Shinju’s focus as she focused on Karin’s face. A perfectly oval face, her lovely brown eyes shiny but determined as if she was already planning how to fight cancer like she did everything herself. Her dark brows arched in perfect crescents but bunched up together to form little wrinkles. The black hair she kept perfectly pulled back had managed to have one lonely strand fall across her cheek. As Shinju reached out to tuck it beyond those perfect seashell ears, memorizing the feel of it as she was doing Karin’s entire face she heard one word ring through clearly.

 

Chemotherapy.

 

“We can’t.” Shinju finally said cutting into the conversation and making them both focus back on her. She felt as if she was moving slowly, dreamlike as she made the announcement she had planned to share later this week. At their anniversary dinner.

 

“It might hurt the baby.”

 

It seemed to take a moment for the words to hit. The doctor’s face went even more grave at that, but Karin. Karin’s mask faltered for one of the few times in their relationship. Shinju leaned forward to cup Karin’s crumbling face.

 

“She’s my only chance. I already decided to name her after you Rin.”

 

Karin broke, face falling forward to sob into her shoulders. The doctor looked on with a mixture of discomfort and sympathy. He didn’t bother asking if Shinju wanted to terminate the pregnancy. Shinju felt oddly calm and determined in this.

* * *

When they had calmed, when they had finished talking about _options_ , and had left the doctor Karin had looked at her and spoke with her quiet, always certain voice.

 

“You can’t tell him.”

 

Shinju hummed, not commenting. There was no need to ask who the “him” was. There were only two people Shinju had slept with in three years. Karin certainly couldn’t get her pregnant. Karin had stiffened, turning and grabbing Shinju’s hands.

 

“You can’t be thinking of telling him. Shinju, please tell me you aren’t?” It was a question and the uncertainty in that voice made her cave. She gave Karin a reassuring smile and returned her grip relaxing it into a handhold.

 

“I won’t do anything right now. I won’t seek him out to tell. I promise Rin. We don’t need his attention and I won’t seek it.”

 

Karin relaxed and leaned forward to pull Shinju into an embrace, pressing her face against her shoulder, and threading her hair into Shinju’s blonde. Shinju returned it nuzzling the top of Karin’s dark hair and wrapping the smaller woman in her arms tightly. It broke her heart to see the naturally aloof woman so openly affectionate. Karin was by no means in the closest and would happily and vocally correct any assumptions about their “friendship”, but she was a private person and found no reason to let the rest of the world into her intimate life. She seemed to think it cheapened the feeling. It had taken some getting used to as Shinju was definitely a more openhearted person, but now she appreciated Karin’s views and they’d long found a satisfying balance. Karin being so open about her feelings just showed how awful this was for her.

 

And for a moment Shinju regretted taking the step forward and how much Karin loved her. If she had loved a little less, if she had not persevered with her unrequited feelings, if she had left them as friends it would not hurt this much. But Shinju knew she was a selfish person and pushed the regret aside painfully. She couldn’t maintain those emotions with how grateful she was to have Karin beside her.

 

“I promise.” She whispered into that soft black hair and ignored the awkward looks they were getting from others. “He won’t know.”

* * *

Three months later sitting in the toilet of the same hospital and tremblingly holding her cellphone over her slightly swollen stomach she marvelled over how quickly promises were broken. It had taken one conversation to send her panicking and to bring up the contact she had possessed but never used. She briefly marvelled at the fact it was Hikari that had given it to her.

 

Shinju’s stomach lurched as her phone buzzed with the reply.

 

_Your appointment with Orihara is on Saturday at 2:00 pm. The address of the appointment will be sent an hour before. Thank you for your business._

 

The brisk professional tone almost made Shinju laugh and she wondered if somehow Orihara had gotten a secretary. She had kept her promise avoiding her usual behavior of stalking the best stalker in Japan. She, for once, could honestly not say what her idol had been up to. Perhaps he had.

 

Dimly she pondered that at least she wasn’t breaking her promise carelessly. She wasn’t going to him to inform him of his impending fatherhood in some misplaced moral crisis. She was going as a client. She needed him for a job, for information. Karin would forgive her for responding to this threat if nothing else.

 

After all it was the baby being threatened.


End file.
